Each of the Shematrix Guides was asked to tell her story...
How have the rites of initiation served you? What brings you back to sit in sacred circle time and again?
I have been part of Shematrix since its birth more than 15 years ago and my journey within this collective continues to be full of joys and sorrows, losses and gains, just like life. Like any spiritual path Shematrix demands that I walk my talk. And being a feminine path, it tends to challenge and provoke in all the unpredictable and unexpected corners.
Shematrix is a vehicle for me to embody standing firmly in the present moment with my heart open and to trust not knowing. I am committed to connecting with women in the place where it really matters, in the truth of the circle, feeling separateness fall away, as we shed our skins. Meeting the unknowable, experiencing tears, love and laughter, in the shared mystery of being simultaneously broken and feeling whole, vulnerable and fully alive. (Retired)
In my experience the Gift and the Grail are the most efficient use of time and sacred space for getting down to the essential business of waking up, coming home to self and evolving as a human being. These weekends are a practice in self-responsibility allowing for deeper connection to authenticity and fuller expression in the world. As a Shemartix guide, these events continue to deepen and inform me, and I have become kinder, more compassionate with myself, and with everyone and everything I encounter. I love the connections that are formed in the weekends and I love nourishing and strengthening these connections to build ever-expanding community.
The first time I came to a Gift I reclaimed my feminine nature. It was a sense of belonging, of connection to mother earth and coming home to myself. I feel more authentic, more real and honest through doing this work and I love that I know that there is a place where I can be seen in my dark, and my light. For me it is a place of recognition, healing and transformation. The learning from each weekend enables me to be more present with myself, with others and to hold space in my life, especially in times of crisis. The alchemy of the people present in the weekend and all that is offered into the space makes me more humble and more compassionate for the human condition and I feel less alone. I have found my own unique way of being rather than trying to be something or someone else.
This work is still special to me after all these years because it does such an amazing job of allowing people a sacred container in which to do big pieces of ‘ritual let go’ and to change using the collective energy, rather than on ones own. It seems to me that it is possible to clear back to the core soul energy in a way that is rare and extremely valuable. A magically, altered space is created in our weekends which cracks through to the love and connection that is possible between us in a very intimate but safe way. I so enjoy seeing people lighten, brighten and leave full of new possibilities and a new vision for themselves.
The work of Shematrix is the foundation for all else in my life; from it I become a powerful channel through which my other spiritual work can flow and shine. It reminds me why I am here, and shows me who I am underneath the layers of identities. I have learned to confront my fears, finding safety in openness and vulnerability. I continue on this path so I may live in integrity, compassion and gratitude, with a community of sisters who hold up my mirrors and reveal myself to me.
I am more present and focused with family, clients and groups. It is my strong intent to help this work spread so young women can look forward to taking their places while older women feel acknowledged and respected for their wisdom, and so that all beings can know the joy of experiencing life fully.
I do this work because I love authenticity. The depth of sharing and ‘realness’ I feel and see in this space is inspirational to me. It feeds my heart and soul. I have experienced in myself (and witnessed in others) amazing transformations though the rites of passage. I am in awe of the human spirit and heart. I do this work because the discoveries that are made in my presence fill me with joy. It is such an honour to be witness to these transformations and discoveries. For me, the experience is similar to being witness to a birth. I am filled with amazement, gratitude, awe and wonder. I treasure each being, as well as the camaraderie and kinship I experience in this work.
Shematrix is where I can feel my deepest yearning, and experience who I really am over and over again. It’s the place where I burn away whatever isn’t serving me in my desire to live more compassionately and joyfully. This work is the most powerfully transformational work I have ever experienced, and I’ve seen miracle after miracle in the weekends. I love that I get to work with both women and men to re-establish a true relationship with the Divine Feminine at a time when that balance is so needed. I want to make it available to as many people as possible.
My passion, my humor, my love, my clarity, my vigilance, my commitment, in fact, all aspects of me are well-used in this work. It’s an honor to be able to use the skills I have acquired over many years to make a difference in people’s lives and in the world.
Pantha does not guide weekend events however she is a founding member and helps to hold the energetic field of the work of Shematrix. She manages Our Jinpa projects – go to the Our community section of our website.
The work of Shematrix is very dear to my heart. I can truly say that my first Gift weekend was a significant life-changing event. The love and acceptance I experienced, without being fixed or changed in any way, gave me permission to ignite more of my own self-love and care. I am fortunate to be a part of this work. I feel blessed that I am able to sit in circle with the women and the men who are called to the space. I love witnessing the amazing transformations. I bring my loving and compassionate heart, my love of working with people, and holding unconditional space for transformation to occur. I bring my deep trust that the space does, and can, hold it all. I bring my integrity and dedication to doing whatever it takes to keep living my life with love, authenticity and kindness.
I have been involved in this work from the very first time I participated. It shocked a recognition deep inside of me. It was as though I could see and feel the walls around me that had previously been invisible. Re-emerging into the feminine was stepping into a gift of extraordinary understanding which has informed my life ever since. Working within the Shematrix collective has been core in supporting my deepest longing to be part of offering this gateway to as many women as possible. Much more than a ritual it is a sacred portal. I no longer guide in weekends but serve in other capacities such as elder and guardian of the work. (14 July 1945 to 4 July 2015)