The rite of initiation I experienced in the Grail has permeated all aspects of my life and me. It has changed how I share myself with my lover, children, and friends – both men and women. In my inward moments. It is a fundamental part of the definition of what I am. When, I want to collapse into feelings of inadequacy and despair. It is a beacon that reminds me to offer all of what I have to those I love.

The cellular knowing that I can experience all my rage – even when it feels as though it will destroy everything I cherish – and there are places that can hold it in love, has given me a visceral sense of being known and loved in my darkest moments.

Yes, the effects of the rite lie in the realm of the visceral, the emotional and the underlying currents of human experience. But the rite has also changed my interaction with the world as a male, as a human. The phenomenon is integrated into all aspects of my being in a manner that makes it seem impossible to describe mechanistically or logically. All that I know is that my interactions with others are more authentic and more meaningful. I feel connected to my inner purpose, so strongly at times that I do not care anymore about what the proper or appropriate action might be. I follow my heart more than ever. My connection with god, with spirit, has been personalized and for me that is the greatest gift I have ever received.